Saturday, February 14, 2009

Off soul-searching… or off searching for a soul

I apologize for not posting or following people's blogs. Over the next week I will make an effort to look at posts for the past month or so. That said, I have thrown myself into the eye of the hurricane and have struggled to stay in the center, so give me a break!

At Carleton we measure time by the number of weeks that have gone by in the term, since there are only 10 to keep track of each trimester. So, here is the run-down:

Week 1: My roommate's girlfriend and her roommate have issues. I end up being stuck in the middle trying to resolve all their issues. Drains me.

Week 2: My roommate and his girlfriend have issues. Major issues. I end up comforting my roommate the whole weekend and then some. Drains whatever was left of me. I end up drinking more than I meant to at a party and making a decision I do not regret but that resulted in some decisions that I now regret (related to a boy).

Week 3: I get my first assignments back. Even after dropping a couple extracurriculars to focus on my amazing classes (because you get out of them what you put in), I am not getting as much out of my classes as I want to be. I get 4 parking tickets and a tow warning.

Week 4: My roommate and I have issues. Karma? But I've been so good! And I've already had my fair share of misfortunes these past few weeks… On the plus side I applied to the Teacher Licensure program.

Week 5: I start to lose it, but I pick myself back up and go on a super-power-trip of homework that ends in a 8-page letter/paper, in-class exam and take-home exam (10 pages, typed single-spaced) for the same class and a presentation and 7-page paper in one week.

Week 6: I get a small break from work, but I won't get another until Spring Break after my finals. I also have two interviews this week and one coming up in two weeks. On the plus side the work I did is starting to pay off. I also saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It is a great movie.

Hopefully when I get off this one-way train ride through the tunnel of insanity I will be able to post more consistently.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Rationalizing Racism

I was really proud of the title for this post when I posted on my class' forum earlier today so I decided to use it. No, I don't actually want to rationalize racism. But I read a couple articles about how and why people did it in the past (and still do today).

On that note, my classes this term are a lot better than last term! I felt a little useless last term, to be honest. The only thing I felt I was really fulfilling was tutoring this High School senior in Calc. But this term all my classes have made me feel like I'm talking about pressing and deep issues that engage me personally and professionally. It's enough for now, at least, to stave off the depression that usually comes with Winter Term and the lack of sunlight. We'll see how long it lasts. It also helps that I'm taking a fitness class and getting more exercise than I'm used to.

Last week was so stressful for me. I think part of it was unpreparedness to be back at school. Part of it was a busy schedule, but also partly my stress level was already through the roof when I left for school. I think the thing that drains me the most is when I have a lot to do but it's spread out over a long period of time. And the amount of things/people I had to commit to the last week was just overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I loved break this year. I did not want to leave. I felt rushed and bitter. But, like I said, things are looking up for now.

Looking back on it, I don't think I ever could have predicted being so interested in racism, poverty and other social issues in our country. Growing up I always felt a little scared whenever someone brought up those kind of topics… I guess I was terrified of offending someone by sayin the wrong thing. But now I just can't stop talking about it! I swear to never use my powers for evil.